9th February 2012 - part 1.


After the lady made all the water around me disappear Mummy suddenly needed a wee BADLY and kept insisting on being taken off the monitor to go to the toilet but then when she got there nothing happened. The midwife thought Mummy was being awkward because she didn't want to be stuck on a machine sat on a bed but actually I had shifted downwards again and was well and truely in the way. After a while they left Mummy with a bedpan which she said was degrading because they were fed up of her going back and forth without doing a wee, Mummy definitely couldn't do one then. At some point in the next half hour Mummy wee'd all over the bed and she said it was the nicest feeling in the whole world ever!!! I think she meant because of the pain in her bladder stopping and not because she might have got some wee on the midwife who she didn't like.

Then a little while after the water in my space all disappeared I started getting squashed again, only this time it wasn't nice and peaceful with a good hard squash followed by a minute or two's rest, this time I got squeezed for about 3 minutes, 20 seconds of not being squeezed and then squeezed again even harder. Mummy was desperate to get off the bed but the squeezing kept on and on so much she couldn't move and the midwife kept saying she was going to put a drip in Mummy to speed things up - Mummy had her TENS machine up to 50 at this point and was smelling her special flannel with rose and clary sage all the time but they thought because she wasn't taking the gas and air coz it made her feel sick that things weren't happening. Then I moved onto Mummy's bum and she said "The baby's coming!" but no one believed her because it was too quick and they still wouldn't let her move.

Mummy said she could take the pain but not the intensity and was crying saying she wanted an epidural but when they put a drip in her hand she panicked and pulled it out because she said they were tricking her into an induction and she was going to die if the contractions got any closer together and she didn't want to die now she'd got so far. I think perhaps Mummy was a little bit mad at that time because I am sure hospitals don't trick people like that and Mummies don't really die just because babies are coming out! Suddenly the squeezing stopped and Mummy looked at Daddy (who was very quiet!) and started laughing and said - "Oh so that must have been transition! We really will have a baby soon."

At that point the lady who'd been there all along introduced another lady and said she was going home, Mummy said "Hello" but then the squeezing started again and this time it was very different, I was really getting squashed this time going slightly downwards with each squeeze. Mummy said the TENS felt like an elephant kicking her and pulled it off and threw it on the floor and tried to get onto her side as she'd been kneeling on the bed since the fast squashing started. Unfortunately the new midwife was even more old school (or used to dealing with ladies who do as they are told and take their drugs) and would not believe that Mummy had good strong legs and wanted to squat on the floor to try and push me out in the way her body wanted her too and pushed Mummy on to her back and held her leg and told Daddy to hold her other leg and push them. Mummy tried to say the same effect could be achieved by letting her get off the bed but no one listened to her, Mummy said later it was probably because the midwife was very fat and wouldn't have been able to get down to see if Mummy's fanny wasn't at the right height.

It was really hard work after that for me and Mummy, there was a lot of shouting which was not meant to happen, Mummy was held down and her legs were pushed backwards which hurt her and also made her angry that Daddy was being forced to do that to her when he and everyone in the room knew Mummy did not want to lie on her back to have me. After an hour the midwife said Mummy "wasn't progressing fast enough" and said words like "stirrups" and "episiotomy", Mummy knew that these were one step away from forceps and sticking probes in my head which she promised me she wouldn't let them do and so she started to push and push and push and push as hard as she possibly could, usually 4 pushes when I was getting squeezed but also a few more pushes when I wasn't getting squeezed too which hurt a lot - for Mummy and me.

At 8.56 I was born and made a massive cry as soon as I came out. I wasn't allowed to go on Mummy's tummy and they cut my cord immediately even though they had promised that if I cried they would wait to do all those things, eventually after a team of people saw I really was perfect and Mummy knew all along there was nothing wrong they finally put me on her tummy.